Saturday, May 20, 2006

*collapse*

I have completed my first novel. The Wheezus bar is now open: What can I get you?

Sunday, May 14, 2006

I am

consternated about the Brady Bunch house.

Picture it with me. Not from the photos at the above link, but in your mind as you remember it from the tv show.

If you are inside the house, on the driveway side is the family room with the slider door, right? Then the kitchen, with Alice's room. Which is a really strange place to find a bedroom, isn't it?

On the other side of the kitchen is the dining room, and then the living room. Still with me? The formal front door is directly opposite the sliding glass door that leads to the driveway.

BUT. Whenever you see Mike pull up after a long day's work AS AN ARCHITECT, mind you, you see the front door facing the street, smack dab in the middle of the house.

Am I wrong? No.

How the heck can the front door be there? Whenever formal company comes over, like Charlie's parents or the Glee Club teacher, they come in what we know as the front door. Which is really the side door. Someone explain this to me. And don't give me your lousy 'facade' excuses. I want the truth.

Where is the laundry room--in Alice's bedroom?

Is there NO BATHROOM on the main floor?

And where is Greg's room with the beaded doorway? Mr. Wheeze says it's in the attic, but there are no stairs leading up to it, are there?

And then the back yard...with Mike's office (which is HUGE--Carol has to run five steps just to get from the couch to Mike's desk) jutting out the back there, and the garage set back behind the house opposite it, how the hen did they manage to construct a stage, place a hundred folding chairs, and put on a production of Snow White for Miss Wellfield so they could raise $200 to buy her a set of books?

And finally. There are no windows. Serious fire hazard there.

Enlighten me.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Peepdate

I know you are dying to know how Peep is doing.

Day 11 of the Peepsaga: He is still trapped in my backyard, walled in, so to speak, and unable to clear the 6-foot concrete barrier. However, he has managed to conquer the tiki torch, and the outdoor fireplace. In fact, he falls into the fireplace from the space at the top of it, and can't get out unless I leave the grids open.

For some reason, he has an aversion to actual trees. He's more of a brick and mortar kind of bird.



This photo was taken Tuesday. Peep looks decidedly like my dearly departed grandmother, and I can't help but think dear grandma is watching over our little family now.

Please wave to my grandma. She was the mother of the Glennie, after all.

Here's another pic for the sake of reference. See him there? Innit he cute?



I think today may be the day Peep flies the coop. Pray for a tailwind.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Peep is alive

PEEPDATE #1: Peep is still in my backyard. He cannot fly, but he can hop. He hops along one wall, staying in the shade. Mommy and Daddy Mockingbird still bring him food all the time. As long as he doesn't jump in the pool, I think he'll be okay.



So the birds are procreating profusely in my backyard.

The mockingbirds made a nest in the north tree. I always wondered what a baby mockingbird sang. Was it born with the full folder of music that its parents knew, or was it a learned thing?

Over the past few weeks, I have determined that baby mockingbirds only know one song--the song of the whining puppy.

Today, the whining sounded different--like it was coming from a different place. I watched mommy and daddy mockingbird, and though they went to the nest with their berries and wormie things, they left the nest still holding it. They'd cock their necks to look around. Where was peep? It was tragic. Finally, they found him in the tall grass below the tree.

Why is there tall grass below a tree in Arizona, you ask. Because the weed killer will kill the tree if we get too close with it, and the whacker is in storage. (not code, unless you are Swami.)

Anyway, they fed him on the ground all afternoon, in the hot hot sun. I thought that peep was going to die of the heat, but now he figured out how to hop over to the shade of the wall.

He is cute as can be, all fluffy with his feathers like he's wearing a full boa. Hopefully he'll figure out how to fly soon, because it's dang hot stuck on a bunch of rocks in Wheezy's yard.

Go, little Peep! I think peep needs some encouragement. Help me out.