Sunday, August 20, 2006

Somebody, please

diagram this sentence below (or tell Goth to get over here). Thank you.

I just didn't feel like making the appointment, because I waited too long, and I knew his schedule would be full, but if I called he would suggest fifty million other options, none of which would have worked because our schedule was so tight, and I would have felt bad that he tried so hard to fit me in, and then he would be all sad, because we are friends, and graduated the same year (from different schools, but we know a lot of the same people) and then I'd feel like I had to move the schedule around so we could catch up, and I just couldn't take the stress of trying to rearrange everything, considering the Glennie would have had to be dealt with in the process.

(yes, I know. It's terribly-erribly passive.)


Anonymous Misha's Guy said...

I see this all too often in my profession as an oak leaf oiler at a Russian bath house. People try to express themselves in the steam room but don’t understand the socio-political connection between proper sentence structure and puckering one's tochis. Fortunately we live in an era where the explosion of technology presents us with an exciting method to prevent terribly-errible passives.

Before sending an e-mail or other electronic communication always read what you type and try to say all sentences without taking an additional breath. If you are not able to say the whole sentence you will suffocate and never be able to hit 'send'.

Now I know you would never do this so I imply no negative implication toward you. I only point this out to help others.

Oh. Sorry. You wanted me to 'diagram' the sentence.


If I could do that do you think I'd be sopping oak leaves with olive oil soap so some Bolshevik Conan could beat aged overweight republicans till the astringent pries open pores that one can only liken to the blow holes on orcas which anyone who has witnessed a Hillary speech need not have me describe in detail the ooze flowing forth like rivers of sewage emitting noxious gas so foul as to be mistaken for weapons of mass destruction by the ignoramus progeny of one who did 'not have improper relations with that woman' who...

Gasp! Thunk!

9:42 PM  
Blogger Jolene said...

I don't know about no diagramming, but I do know that I greatly enjoy run-on sentences.

2:24 PM  
Blogger Landru said...

"erribly" isn't a word. Except Cocknania, or wherever it is Cockneys come from.

10:45 AM  
Blogger gothmog said...

I'd diagram it by drawing a circle around it. Then another circle, so that it intersects somewhat with the first. And then, you'd have a Glenn diagram. Or maybe Glennie diagram. I ferget these technical terms.

Actuarily, if I remember correctly from my Grammar Rock days, I believe the first word is a pronoun. It might even be the subject-cum-quasi pluperfect ablative with a prepossessive conjugational inflective. But only on Tuesdays.

After that, I'd better just leave it up to the experts.

4:14 PM  
Blogger Landru said...


9:55 AM  
Blogger Blue said...

Ummm.. fink it's every uvver Shrove Tuesdee. Cor! 'oo doesn't know that Cockeys come from Cockamimi Sarf, wot's near Clapham Junkshun? Bleedin' colonials! It's that cock-up wiv the bleedin tea wot did it.

12:28 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home