tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-82246272011-04-21T11:13:38.497-07:00Some days we have fun. Other days we dip our toes in the deep end of the pool. And once in a while we just talk about lunch. WWJE for lunch? <br> </br>Wheezenoreply@blogger.comBlogger1561100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1161805975022465282006-10-25T12:46:00.000-07:002006-10-25T12:52:55.046-07:00

Hey Friends of the Wheezus,I have been busy and stuff. Things change. And I have another blog that is not like this one. It's my writing blog, where I try to look professional and shit. So if you would like to visit there, you are welcome -- all you need to know in order to find it is my first and last name dot blogspot dot com.If you are a friend and you are having trouble finding it, you should

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1158851644031822542006-09-21T08:12:00.000-07:002006-09-21T08:14:04.056-07:00

It's chilly this morning. I may have to turn off the A/C for a few hours.So what's new, other than the fact that Wheezus is boring and neglectful?

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1156119435836165322006-08-20T17:15:00.000-07:002006-08-20T18:01:24.993-07:00

diagram this sentence below (or tell Goth to get over here). Thank you.I just didn't feel like making the appointment, because I waited too long, and I knew his schedule would be full, but if I called he would suggest fifty million other options, none of which would have worked because our schedule was so tight, and I would have felt bad that he tried so hard to fit me in, and then he would be

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1155230128568981172006-08-10T10:11:00.000-07:002006-08-10T10:24:15.330-07:00

You'll need to carry your tampons in your hand, and pack your keys, cell phone, ipod and laptop in your checked bags. When they lose your luggage, well...I guess you'll just have to take a cab home. Darn those key fobs.From Salon.comItems Banned Aboard Planes in Britain- - - - - - - - - - - -By The Associated PressAugust 10,2006 | -- Security measures in place Thursday at British airports in

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1151878786262663542006-07-02T14:47:00.000-07:002006-07-02T21:20:28.546-07:00

What has Wheezus done lately, you are wondering.Well. I'm working on final edits of my novel. Which is quite nearly done, or totally done, or far from done, depending on what day you ask me. In my spare time, I am learning how to go about getting it published. I spend my evenings reading from pseudonymous literary agent Miss Snark's blog. But my day is not complete without a dose of Evil Editor.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1150819180211542682006-06-20T08:44:00.000-07:002006-06-20T08:59:44.086-07:00

I? Love Disney's High School Musical.And at this very moment, my children, ages 12 and 9, are watching Sesame Street (I know, I know) and we've discovered that Ernie has no nipples. Also, it pleases me to hear Elmo sing "Figaro".Now you.In other news, I heard that Lois Lowry's Newbery Award winning novel, "The Giver", is being made into a movie. This is one of the best YA books I've ever read.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1148159107339334522006-05-20T14:02:00.000-07:002006-05-20T14:05:07.356-07:00

I have completed my first novel. The Wheezus bar is now open: What can I get you?

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1147623844861915682006-05-14T09:03:00.000-07:002006-05-14T09:24:04.953-07:00

consternated about the Brady Bunch house.Picture it with me. Not from the photos at the above link, but in your mind as you remember it from the tv show.If you are inside the house, on the driveway side is the family room with the slider door, right? Then the kitchen, with Alice's room. Which is a really strange place to find a bedroom, isn't it? On the other side of the kitchen is the dining

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1147444421117850162006-05-12T07:20:00.000-07:002006-05-12T07:34:56.810-07:00

I know you are dying to know how Peep is doing.Day 11 of the Peepsaga: He is still trapped in my backyard, walled in, so to speak, and unable to clear the 6-foot concrete barrier. However, he has managed to conquer the tiki torch, and the outdoor fireplace. In fact, he falls into the fireplace from the space at the top of it, and can't get out unless I leave the grids open. For some reason, he

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1146617370257404162006-05-02T17:41:00.000-07:002006-05-03T21:27:41.810-07:00

PEEPDATE #1: Peep is still in my backyard. He cannot fly, but he can hop. He hops along one wall, staying in the shade. Mommy and Daddy Mockingbird still bring him food all the time. As long as he doesn't jump in the pool, I think he'll be okay. So the birds are procreating profusely in my backyard. The mockingbirds made a nest in the north tree. I always wondered what a baby mockingbird sang.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1145845688967599272006-04-23T19:28:00.000-07:002006-04-24T18:50:46.946-07:00

I just know you've been sitting around wondering where Wheezy is. Well, I've been under the bed with the tuna. And I'll tell you why.The Bird flu has arrived to the US, right in my back yard, in fact. So far we've had three dead birds.Okay, 2 dead birdies, one was not much more than an embryo. But still, a very serious situation.Here's the thing: the first two birdies were tiny babies, and were

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1142572458622671202006-03-16T22:13:00.000-07:002006-03-16T22:14:18.626-07:00

I know you've missed her.She and dad were planning on coming to visit again last week, but lo and behold, my dear, sweet, wonderful, loving sister took one for the team and decided to have 30 gallstones (just like an 86 year old grandma, not that we're mentioning that to her) right around the time the Glennie was planning on starting the big journey to the southwest. I salute you, T-box. You will

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1142259144669915362006-03-13T06:52:00.000-07:002006-03-13T07:15:17.883-07:00

It's rare when Phoenix has a snow day. It didn't actually snow in the city. If you wanted to physically touch the snow, you had to elevate yourself about 1000 feet or so. But if you were good with just looking at it's delicate, frosted cinnamon roll appearance on Superstition Mountain, all you had to do was step out into the driveway.Here's a shot from my driveway yesterday. On the ground temps

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1141923722335828612006-03-09T09:59:00.000-07:002006-03-09T10:02:02.353-07:00

When's the last time you've been pleasantly surprised by the service you've received from an online shop (or a store in your own neighborhood, for that matter)?A few days ago, through Amazon.com I ordered a few items from this place called Third Choice. It's basically a small skater's shop run by a team of skateboarders. Yesterday I got an email from them saying one of the t-shirts I ordered was

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1141775403713689602006-03-07T16:50:00.000-07:002006-03-10T16:20:47.413-07:00

This was fun. I have been to 30 states. How about you? Click on the link below to find out. (yeah, I guess I'm a little bored today.)On edit: Okay, I took the silly map down so T-box can find her link to the Survivor and TAR blogs. Sorry to those who use IE -- I didn't realize it was messing it up that badly. Carry on.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1141223744162074452006-03-01T07:02:00.000-07:002006-03-01T07:35:44.220-07:00

Chris tagged me.Four jobs I've had:1. bindery - rolling labels at a printing company2. blueberry picker3. Realtor4. Telemarketer (for 1 day)Four movies I can watch over and over:1. Groundhog Day2. Waiting For Godot3. Waiting For Guffman4. Groundhog DayFour places I've lived:1. Estelle Drive2. Union (aka Onion) Street3. The Bayberry Hotel4. Madison Street (twice)Four TV shows I love:1. Washington

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1141219990942976442006-03-01T06:33:00.000-07:002006-03-01T06:33:11.006-07:00

Your silence is deafening. Let's change the subject. Hmmm...Hey, did you hear about Mississippi and their new abortion ban? Oh, it's getting fun now. No? How about we talk about how cute 'chicken little' Kevin is on American Idol. Isn't he such a little darling? He could be my kid. I think that's why I like him. He looks like he'd be a nice kid to have around.Hey, who's quitting smoking next?

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1141066388533518152006-02-27T11:53:00.000-07:002006-02-27T12:03:06.426-07:00

Carl Sheeler needs your help. I know Carl Sheeler from a message board. He's running for Senate in Rhode Island as a progressive Democratic candidate against Republican incumbant Lincoln Chafee. I know, I know. You don't live in Rhode Island. But if you are frustrated by the state of our country and want change, we can do it this fall -- we can elect Senators and Representatives who will stand

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1140646145433188602006-02-22T15:09:00.000-07:002006-02-22T15:09:05.503-07:00

...yesterday was, indeed, not my birthday.But I did do my taxes.What did you do yesterday?

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1140537317379475422006-02-21T08:55:00.000-07:002006-02-21T08:55:17.450-07:00

You are such cool friends. Another wise person I know said quit for 10 more minutes. :)Still hanging in there on day 6. You should see the list of prizes I'm promising myself. We may have to go into debt over this. I got my Werther's. I have some super pepperminty gum, which helps a lot, though I'm not real fond of smacking gum all day and it hurts my jaw. And I've started scheduling things to do

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1140401778962974362006-02-19T19:07:00.000-07:002006-02-19T19:16:19.033-07:00

This quitting smoking is bullshit. I hate it.I have found that this time of day, from about 5pm until 8pm or so, is the absolute worst. Luckily I have people who have taken the time to distract me these last few days during this time especially, since Mr. Wheeze has been extremely busy this past week and hasn't been home during this particular time of day since I quit. So I am thankful for you,

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1140105633583402172006-02-16T09:00:00.000-07:002006-02-16T09:00:33.646-07:00

Ciggies go bye-bye.Got my scrip from the doc and a patch on my arm. Thanks to Nookie who came to my rescue this morning. Wasn't it nice of her to quit first so she could show us how to do it?

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1138728205166401262006-01-31T10:23:00.000-07:002006-01-31T10:23:25.246-07:00

In the past week, new flames rose in the bellies of Americans who felt lost in the eyes of their representatives. The fire turned to action for thousands of the complacent, and refreshed the hearts and souls of the already passionate. In the past week, I saw people come together to offer kindling for each others’ fires in solidarity, and a new light, for perhaps the first time this century,

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1137686274554926202006-01-19T08:43:00.000-07:002006-01-19T09:02:11.733-07:00

my doctor's office yesterday. "Hi, this is Wheezus and I'm a patient of Dr. B--," I said.Silence. "I'm going to attempt to quit smoking, and there's a drug I heard about that can help with the cravings," I said.Silence."I think it's called Zyban, or Welbutrin," I went on.Silence."I was wondering if Doctor B-- would give me a prescription for it."More silence, followed by, "Not without seeing you.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1137510913026153792006-01-17T08:15:00.000-07:002006-01-17T08:15:13.100-07:00

I don't eat breakfast. No, no I don't.Except when Ilse the southern cook and The Landru cook me some eggs over easy, with bacon. And today, they are not here to cook for me.I have some eggs in the fridge. The date on the egg carton says Dec. 16, 2005. Do you think they are still good? Because I may have to make me some eggs.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1137256678512852532006-01-14T08:58:00.000-07:002006-01-14T09:39:18.146-07:00

All right, you demanding bunch of people. :)Some of you know that I am in Maryland for a wedding. 'Tis the wedding of the Landru and the Ilse (aka Isle, or Sami). It has been my pleasure and honor to stay at the very home of the devil himself, and partake of the large, treeful surroundings (leafless though they be, and no, none of that is code) which I do dearly miss in my homestate of Arizona.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1135989757177020152005-12-30T17:40:00.000-07:002005-12-30T17:42:37.193-07:00

What I did today.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1135464153381677072005-12-24T15:42:00.000-07:002005-12-24T15:42:33.406-07:00

Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy New Year, Solstice (oops, missed that), Festivus (oops, missed that too), etc. Hope you get a day off here and there. Make the best of it. I leave you with Glennie's ham recipe: Take a cooked ham. Re-cook the got-damned hell out of it over-night. The end.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1133981277926851952005-12-07T11:47:00.000-07:002005-12-07T11:49:02.460-07:00

You are all cordially invited to join a little message board. It's up and running, though still in its tweaking stages. But you can go there now because you? Are my dear friends and I'd like to see you there. Created for you by some Circle Of friends (the same folks who bring you the "Survive This" and "What's So Amazing" summaries), this simple message board has already been accosted by

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1133703662988465392005-12-04T06:28:00.000-07:002005-12-04T11:12:35.580-07:00

In my ongoing efforts to entertain you, my Survivor Summary is posted. And if you missed last week's TAR summary, it's here.As always, thank you for sticking around.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1133188829566057802005-11-28T07:35:00.000-07:002005-11-28T07:41:27.320-07:00

Yesterday's high temp was 56 degrees, according to my vehicle.And this morning, weather.com says it's 30 degrees out there. That is insane.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1133042255948165482005-11-26T14:54:00.000-07:002005-11-26T14:57:35.960-07:00

this week in your spare time, and if you really want to know what's going on in NOLA, please read this.Yes, it will take you a little while. But get to the end. Please.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1132935432653428932005-11-25T09:09:00.000-07:002005-11-25T09:17:27.100-07:00

Brownie's got a heckofa new job."If I can help people focus on preparedness, how to be better prepared in their homes and better prepared in their businesses _ because that goes straight to the bottom line _ then I hope I can help the country in some way," Brown told the Rocky Mountain News for its Thursday editions. Brown said officials need to "take inventory" of what's going on in a disaster

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1132622006274644672005-11-21T18:13:00.000-07:002005-11-21T18:13:26.333-07:00

that Bush visited Asia just so he could bring the bird flu back to the US with him, and thereby 'save' the country (read: republicans) with his meager stores of Tamiflu (please contribute to the republican treasurer, Jack Abramoff, if you'd like your own personal stash)? Maybe it's just me.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1132203689126418302005-11-16T22:01:00.000-07:002005-11-16T22:22:20.116-07:00

Hey look. You can buy 'my book' on Amazon. Or Barnes & Noble if you prefer. I feel kinda silly, because I just heard about this today. Apparently it's been available since March. Oopsie.Oh, and 5% of each retail sale goes to The Hunger Project.And also? On the B&N page, it says "People who bought this book also bought: 'Me Talk Pretty One Day', by David Sedaris." Which is probably the

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1132164937991109872005-11-16T11:15:00.000-07:002005-11-16T11:21:32.860-07:00

Just when I think I can't handle one more day of 100 + degrees and sunshine, the temperature dips down in the 50s and 60s at night and the whole place feels so refreshing again. I've got my chai tea, 'puter, shorts and a sweatshirt (it's a mite chilly this morning) out by the pool, a decent view of the Superstition Mountains if I turn my head just so, and scarlet bougainvilla petals skating

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1131104789326857702005-11-04T04:46:00.000-07:002005-11-04T06:24:10.996-07:00

And I'm not even in Vegas yet.Yes, my dear readers, I won a chili cookoff, with my very own made up recipe: Wheezy's Roasted Chicken and Sausage Chili. And my prize is an Art for the Table Spice Collection, which is way cool-looking. I knew I should have written down that darn recipe as I was making it...I think what gave it the unique flavor was beer (Sierra Nevada -- a pale ale) and lime juice

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1130810416743105342005-10-31T18:49:00.000-07:002005-10-31T19:00:16.813-07:00

I was going to post a photo of Camilla's enormous head, but I just couldn't stand the thought of looking at it every day.So, they're coming to the US. Charles, with Camilla and her hugemongous head. And I'm gonna go out on a limb here and just say, "I miss Diana." Okay, YES, I admit it. Diana was someone I admired. Except for her choice in husbands.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1130607119851270132005-10-29T10:30:00.000-07:002005-10-29T10:31:59.866-07:00

is here.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1130017498232311732005-10-22T14:44:00.000-07:002005-10-22T14:48:42.990-07:00

have nothing much to say, except that Mr. Wheeze and I are going to Vegas in two weeks to play with Landru and Ilse, and you? Are not.In other news, I have a 4-inch-long grasshopper stalking me in my backyard, I was seduced by a woman last night, chocolate and zucchini do not a good cake make, and Buggy is cute. Everyone please give her a cookie.Have a great weekend, kiddos, and know that you

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1129055156705435402005-10-11T11:25:00.000-07:002005-10-11T11:25:56.713-07:00

Rented the first season of "Lost" on DVD. Finally decided I should see what all the fuss was about. Wow! Cool show. Watched the first few episodes so far--it's very good. Now I'm hooked. Why didn't you tell me to watch this when it started? What season is the current one, two or three? And what night is it on, anyhoo? You people need to take better care of me.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1128872858109777782005-10-09T08:47:00.000-07:002005-10-09T08:58:33.650-07:00

...to bring you a short commercial brak.Lisa McMann’s ‘Like Waves on Rocks’ is one of the best pieces in the magazine, and one of the best stories I’ve read out of all the magazines covered in this series of reviews...This is an extremely well-crafted story, and the threads weave together just right. --Kara Kellar Bell, The New ReviewAlso a mention in The Best of the Small Press. (waaaay down

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1128726502871684372005-10-07T16:08:00.000-07:002005-10-07T16:08:22.936-07:00

in my house. We'll call her C. She lives two doors down. About 10 minutes ago, the doorbell rang. I figure it's one of Wheezygirl's many friends coming over the minute school is out, and luckily for me, Mr. Wheezy picked up the kids from school and went out shopping so I don't have to deal with the many stoppers-by. I am wonderfully, amazingly alone. So I opened the door, and there was C, not my

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1128376263648176072005-10-03T14:51:00.000-07:002005-10-03T14:51:03.710-07:00

It is now October, and it should not be 100 degrees outside. My children burn their precious baby fingers on their metal bike locks when they head home from school. They are already growing out of jeans purchased in August which they've never worn. I am still using Mr. Happy Mister daily. And my electric bill is nearing $300 a month from the air-conditioning. I believe the weatherman promised

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1128187901007127962005-10-01T08:58:00.000-07:002005-10-01T10:47:20.686-07:00

Well, Jim, they found some marbles, a stick of gum, a sparkler. And half a dozen members of the Bush administration. My flame swallowing days are over, they said. And if I pull my head out of my ass, I shouldn't lose any more marbles. Shout-out to T-box. Did you know your name is on the silver toilet paper dispenser at the doc's office? It says in big bold letters, 'T-BOX'. Thanks for being there

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1128054149313853812005-09-29T21:22:00.000-07:002005-09-29T21:22:29.386-07:00

Some things are just Not Natural. Like forced evacuation with a Fleet Phospho gun and Dulcolax bullets. The interior ethnic cleansing is well underway. And all I can hope is that when the juices run clear, I'm done as a bone-in chicken breast. I'm afraid to drink cranberry juice, because then I might find out the nanospeed of liquid expellation with the added benefit of a tailwind. In the

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1127865495846554702005-09-27T16:17:00.000-07:002005-09-27T17:02:51.586-07:00

(for Pam)We're going to talk about 'things that aren't really discussed'. Namely, undesireable body excretions.Yes, if you don't want to hear about the poopy chair and the colonoscopy, it won't hurt my feelings. Just go now. Stop reading and come back in a week or so.I mean it--you probably don't want to know about bleeding anal crevasses, rectal fissures, and the most unnatural invasion of an

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1127337173303404432005-09-21T14:12:00.000-07:002005-09-21T19:15:39.403-07:00

...that the rapture is nigh.Fasten your seatbelts, folks. The rapture index is at 161, nearing the 'Gulf War high', though it's still a good twenty points below its all-time high which occurred shortly after 9/11. Katrina, Rita, higher oil prices (yes, that is a rapture-relative category)...what else could it possibly mean?For the sake of all that is rapturious, buy some water, people. Hell is a

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1126733486140041292005-09-14T14:31:00.000-07:002005-09-14T14:31:26.210-07:00

New links all over the place. Go visit them, and report back to me all the great things you have found. It's like a road rally. There may even be a prize.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1126315951073835342005-09-09T18:32:00.000-07:002005-09-09T18:56:46.236-07:00

And so, after lunch, we said our goodbyes and escaped departed. But not before Glennie decided that this could not be the official goodbye. "You have to come by our house again before you leave forever," she exclaimed. "We have to show you Dad's retirement video." (insert: because you wouldn't come to Michigan in January for it.)Our schedule was packed, but we agreed to stop by the next day,

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1126198968269971072005-09-08T10:02:00.000-07:002005-09-08T10:02:48.323-07:00

Answers to all those right-winged Katrina accusations. Go get 'em, folks. And if you do well, I will try oh-so-hard to write about Glennie.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1125786981774913452005-09-03T15:36:00.000-07:002005-09-03T17:28:30.530-07:00

I know y'all are waiting for the pants story, but every time I try to write it, I can only think of all those sandwiches we had when we weren't hungry. I wish like crazy we could send those sandwiches to NOLA.I will write it when I get my funny back.For now, please be outraged at our country's incompetence. And donate something to help. Please help our people. And if you haven't cried yet...

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1125004622542346412005-08-25T14:17:00.000-07:002005-08-25T14:17:02.596-07:00

We had one of our best sleeps ever in all our travels with Glennie. We're not the 'family bed' type, so all four of us in a room has never gone well. Two of us are light sleepers, and the others are as loud and restless as two toms in a cardboard box. One kid wants the bathroom light on, one kid can't sleep unless it's totally dark. Two are too hot; two, too cold. Many a hotel night over the past

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1123978937236195962005-08-13T17:22:00.000-07:002005-08-13T17:25:59.666-07:00

In case you didn't know, my little sister, a.k.a. T-boz for the purposes of this blog, is one of my most favorite people of all. The reason for that is simple: She bounced me from my crib when I was only 71 months old.I was told my mother was pregnant when I was 5, and I spent most of my bedtime prayer-time begging God for a sister. I remember this clearly. Aunt Rosie (best known for her role as

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1123866251835525742005-08-12T10:04:00.000-07:002005-08-12T10:28:50.393-07:00

As you know, timing and itineraries are of utmost importance to Glennie. And I have ruined the family trip three times so far, and counting. Because the family trip is supposed to be taken in early October, on or around Glennie's birthday--though the original purpose of the October trip was not for her birthday, it was for mom and dad's anniversary. Which is in March. (Of course that makes sense-

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1123650464233568652005-08-09T22:07:00.000-07:002005-08-09T22:08:44.193-07:00

After Glennie ran off (you'll remember that she ran after the green-shirted photographer), we collapsed for a ten minute recess in our respective rooms or had a much needed undercover smokie-snack. Yes it's true--my mother does not know that I smoke, and if you know what's good for you, she never will. And at this point I think you'll understand and, if you cannot empathize, I hope you will at

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1123430379200024282005-08-07T08:58:00.000-07:002005-08-07T08:59:39.210-07:00

I ended chapter one saying that Glennie did a fine job of ruining the vacation her ownself, but that's not exactly true. It wasn't ruined. In fact, looking back on the ten days, I'd have to say that the time I spent with my two brothers and sister, just the four of us, is one of my favorite memories from the trip. Since we do a family overnight trip every year, this brother/sister meeting has

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1123199983187908192005-08-04T16:59:00.000-07:002005-08-04T17:10:09.256-07:00

(please be sure to read the prologue as well)My family is notoriously on time or early for everything. When we were kids, Mom couldn't get us to church, to holiday parties, to school, to work, fast enough. She can't stand being late, and once she gets to the destination, there is to be no lollygagging. Our purpose was to arrive, get through the event as quickly as possible, and get the hell out

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1123169206911354212005-08-04T08:26:00.000-07:002005-10-29T08:55:47.140-07:00

A Necessary Prologue to the Glennie ChroniclesA few days before we set out on our Michigan adventure -- and I was expecting this -- I got an email from my mother that went something like this:Dear Lisa, Are all systems go with your trip. We are sure you areterribly busy trying to pack for 4 people and getting everything inorder so you can leave clearminded. Can you buy some extra water now

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1122898682988220752005-08-01T05:18:00.000-07:002005-08-01T05:18:02.993-07:00

Is anybody interested in reading stories about my weekend with mother, or not really? I mean, my family doesn't hold a candle to Pam's fantastically disfunctional mess, but keywords to pique your interest include: Contusion pants fifteen-and-a-half sixteenths "I think I know what my problem is..." 4 full moons on the lake Forty-six years So tell me if I should bother with it.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1122513522854275772005-07-27T18:18:00.000-07:002005-07-27T18:18:42.863-07:00

My little 11-year-old boy: 1) Ordered a double cheeseburger and fries from McDonald's instead of a big kids happy meal. And he rolled his eyes at the toy his sister got in her happy meal. 2) Asked politely of the waiter at Applebee's if he could have a grown-up menu instead of the kid menu. 3) Suggested that when I am shopping for school clothes this year, would I kindly not get him any

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1122170318301086752005-07-23T18:58:00.000-07:002005-07-23T18:58:38.306-07:00

PHOENIX (AP) - In the span of a week, in the throes of a record heat wave, 14 transients have perished on the streets of metropolitan Phoenix. They lived in obscurity, and many of them died the same way - anonymous, ignored, alone. Their bodies were found crumpled on sidewalks near strip malls or in the shadow of downtown skyscrapers. Some were discovered only after strangers stumbled upon them

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1122145175252487252005-07-23T11:59:00.000-07:002005-07-23T11:59:35.313-07:00

We call our son 'Orc Boy' now and then, and some of you know why. He's going on twelve, and his favorite things tend toward the fantastical sort: Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, both the reading and watching of such and the playing of their video game counterparts. When he writes stories, they include magical, mystical elements, bathroom humor, evil characters, and the sometimes

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121894383776044802005-07-20T14:19:00.000-07:002005-07-20T16:00:01.480-07:00

In the evenings when lightning sets the desert on fire and the dust blows the flames around, the air smells heavy with smoke. When it rains, if it rains, it doesn't put out the fires. I stand on the white chair near the bird feeder so I can see over the wall and look for flames. But I can only see indigo murk from my chair, a blue-black gleam to the north and to the west. Sand works its way

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121818039767921422005-07-19T17:07:00.000-07:002005-07-19T17:07:19.816-07:00

{Iago voice} Why am I not surprised? {/Iago} WASHINGTON - President Bush chose federal appeals court judge John G. Roberts Jr. on Tuesday as his first nominee for the Supreme Court, selecting a rock solid conservative whose nomination could trigger a tumultuous battle over the direction of the nation's highest court, senior administration officials said.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121719140380261162005-07-18T13:39:00.000-07:002005-07-18T13:44:34.483-07:00

I'm a Gryffindor.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121530983111466312005-07-16T09:23:00.000-07:002005-07-16T09:33:48.826-07:00

yesterday that, according to the Food channel, it's "Cook with your kid" week.Yes, we love the Food channel here in our house. I don't know what it is about Emeril making goat cheese salad with beets or Paula Dean trying to take a bite of a humongous white bread sandwich that is so intriguing to the kids, but we watch this stuff, and we love it.And I love to cook, but if I had my druthers,

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121308749740424512005-07-14T17:15:00.000-07:002005-07-14T17:16:40.413-07:00

"I committed a hate crime, she said."The mother of a 29-year-old lesbian who committed suicide nearly a decade ago told a gathering of gays and their friends and family members yesterday that her daughter died because of the "untruths taught by the church."[snip]Wallner and her husband, Bob, Anna's stepfather, were featured speakers at yesterday's Love Welcomes All conference sponsored by Parents

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121386057375993622005-07-14T17:07:00.000-07:002005-07-14T17:07:37.380-07:00

And nowhere to post it but here. Wife has husband's feeding tube removed (as per his living will!), puts it back when 'friend' goes to the press and insists the man is getting better. Move over, Terri Schiavo.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121377201251073052005-07-14T14:40:00.000-07:002005-07-14T14:40:01.313-07:00

I can hardly wait. But The Interfaith Alliance President steps up to say: “Here we go again!” Rev. Gaddy said. “And, this time the imagery and the implications of the message advanced by leaders of the religious right are more offensive, sacrilegious, and undemocratic than those so integral to Justice Sunday I. “Right now, the most serious threats to the fundamental rights and liberties in our

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121296682042548262005-07-13T16:18:00.000-07:002005-07-13T16:43:55.053-07:00

While booksellers are getting their hands slapped for selling the new Harry Potter book before the release date "by mistake" (and all I can say, as a former bookseller, is that the boxes of books have warnings, notices, and "DO NOT SELL BEFORE JULY 16 OR YOU WILL DIE" signs in 87 point font, so there was no way, no how, no mistake besides being born stupid), we are 'enjoying' the heat here. And

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121143715636719972005-07-11T21:48:00.000-07:002005-07-11T21:50:43.136-07:00

Two tough cowboys, right here.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1121006647957516692005-07-10T07:44:00.000-07:002005-07-10T07:44:11.393-07:00

We'll be travelling in a few weeks, back to the homeland to see the families in Michigan. My mother emailed me recently (you've missed my mother, haven't you) to let me know what time we'll be eating dinner each of the days we'll be in town. Of course, that was after I told her that we had lots of people to visit. My favorite dinner plan she presented is for Monday, Aug 1, at my parents' house.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1120766396405161082005-07-07T12:59:00.000-07:002005-07-07T12:59:56.440-07:00

Way to run over a cop, Dubya. Who's the real terrist here?

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1120497455659448062005-07-04T10:17:00.000-07:002005-07-04T12:18:10.346-07:00

I just watched a TV commercial, put out by the Department of Homeland Security. This aired during a children's program today. I believe these have been running since November 2004 or so, but it's the first one I've seen: A little girl is sitting alone at a kitchen table, soberly eating a bowl cereal, looking into the camera. Voice over: "Do you have a plan for terrorist attacks?" And people

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1120398156738142852005-07-03T06:42:00.000-07:002005-07-03T08:14:54.593-07:00

Yesterday, a drive into the Superstition Mountains found us passing through Goldfield Ghost Town. We made a quick stop at the shops and Saloon there, and then continued the journey into the mountains through the recently charred desert, 500 acres of which had been destroyed by fire just last week. We could see the smoke from our house last Wednesday afternoon, and were glad to find our favorite

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1120323498758743322005-07-02T09:58:00.000-07:002005-07-02T09:58:18.803-07:00

Editor and Publisher reports that, on the McLaughlin Group, MSNBC analyst Lawrence O'Donnell revealed the White House leak in the Valerie Plame/CIA case: "I know I'm going to get pulled into the grand jury for saying this but the source of...for Matt Cooper was Karl Rove, and that will be revealed in this document dump that Time magazine's going to do with the grand jury." What's that term for

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1120150882912838222005-06-30T10:01:00.000-07:002005-06-30T10:01:22.940-07:00

There seems to be a new mantra in the daily chatter I've heard recently, suggesting anyone not willing to passively agree with the moral values placed on us by certain folks is either un-American, uncouth, unkind or unfriendly. Churches who impose certain views on their congregations, basing membership on things that should never be considered prerequisites for salvation, teach laziness, teach

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1119992403382362802005-06-28T14:00:00.000-07:002005-06-28T16:33:42.466-07:00

Don't you just love it when the AP releases an article reporting about something that hasn't happened yet?

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1119935779995740072005-06-27T22:16:00.000-07:002005-06-28T16:35:51.153-07:00

is coming to visit me on Wednesday!I am disconnecting all phone lines at this time.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1119537108011508572005-06-23T07:31:00.000-07:002005-06-28T16:36:17.773-07:00

Governor Rick Perry of Texas really ticked me off by signing his stupid hate bills into law a few Sundays ago in a Christian environment. At that time he basically said that if gays didn't like his marriage ban, they could go live somewhere else. First, I'd like to invite all gays from Texas and elsewhere to move to Arizona, for selfish reasons as well as the fact that I'd probably like you. I'm

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1119286971215049962005-06-20T10:02:00.000-07:002005-06-28T15:08:26.433-07:00

The children have named him Bandit. He's a Tucson Banded Gecko. I think we should let him go, don't you? Poor thing, just wanted a quick swim.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1119276498471186222005-06-20T07:08:00.000-07:002005-06-20T07:08:18.536-07:00

My daughter wants a pet. Before we moved to AZ, we had two cats, a hamster, a gerbil, and a gecko. Now we have a gecko. Not the same one as before. Geckos don't travel well in winter in the back of a vehicle for 4 days, so we gave the first one to a friend and bought a new one when we got here. Anyway, I'm tired of pets. I? Would never have a pig, for example. But my son is the keeper of the

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1118272517591577542005-06-08T16:15:00.000-07:002005-06-09T08:38:26.050-07:00

Dweeze reminded me of something.Mr. Wheezus was a collector of toys and action figures from the time of the original Star Wars movies. Yes, yes he was. He was seven when the first movie came out. He began to collect the toys one at a time, working summers with his dad (picking up nails on dad's construction site) to earn money for the next great thing. He kept all the tiny pieces. Played with his

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1117992353070843492005-06-05T10:25:00.000-07:002005-06-05T10:25:53.153-07:00

A good friend of mine recently said that faith, to her, was to have an idea for a book, to know full well how hard it would be to take it from a mere idea to a published, income-producing novel, and to believe it will happen. Which really got me thinking about faith again. Not faith in God, but faith in other things. And how I've lost faith in so many non-spiritual beings the past few years. My

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1117473283409921992005-05-30T10:14:00.000-07:002005-06-23T10:36:42.750-07:00

I have a solution to the recruitment crisis the armed forces is facing, an idea of what to do with all those closed down military bases, a long-term plan for the snowflake babies, and a quick fix for the energy crisis. Plus I’ll create more jobs in the process. I think you’ll find my plan to be ingenious. Please save your applause for the end, so that I don’t get distracted by your overwhelming

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1117307666831176712005-05-28T12:14:00.000-07:002005-05-28T12:14:26.896-07:00

Well it sure did blow a lot last night--it came out of nowhere. Pret'ner lost the patio furniture, and saw a pretty light show off in the southern sky. Luckily my new yellow umbrella didn't fly away. It smelled like rain, it looked like it would rain, it sounded like rain was imminent, but no. ###

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1116961552889725642005-05-24T12:05:00.000-07:002005-05-24T13:48:46.786-07:00

What is humane treatment of detainees?Even as the young Afghan man was dying before them, his American jailers continued to torment him.When Newsweek reported desecration of the Quran at Guantanamo two weeks ago, the White House forced them into submission. "He screamed out, 'Allah! Allah! Allah!' and my first reaction was that he was crying out to his God," Spc. Jones said.But the White House

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1116875023949499382005-05-23T12:03:00.000-07:002005-05-25T07:42:54.186-07:00

The new, improved, Christian Republican Lord of the FliesFocus on the Family Action Chairman Dr. James Dobson was incensed that any deal was being brokered which would evade filibuster reform—labeling it "a disaster." "For Monopoly players, that is like offering to trade Park Place and Boardwalk for Baltic and Mediterranean," Dobson said. "If the Republicans consent to this disaster, they'll not

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1116775015735225742005-05-22T08:16:00.000-07:002005-05-22T08:16:55.740-07:00

Well, it's pretty hot out. One hundred degrees, I am happy to report, is tolerable. A few days ago, we hit 109. That was novel. I don't recall ever experiencing that kind of heat before. I ran a few errands in the heat of the day, and I survived, though I decided that as much as I dislike white vehicles, one day there will probably be a white vehicle in my driveway. With beige interior.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1116622441307544592005-05-20T13:54:00.000-07:002005-05-21T09:13:12.773-07:00

Update: Did I mention Nick Wolterstorff, who was slated to be the commencement speaker until he was notified last month that Bush would be taking his place? It seems he was given a consolation prize--a special seat at commencement.His response? "I think it's best for me to work in my garden Saturday afternoon," he said. He wouldn't comment directly on Calvin's change of plans. "I shouldn't

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1116341434590947472005-05-17T07:50:00.000-07:002005-05-17T07:53:07.900-07:00

The game: 1. Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.3. You will update your blog (if you have one) with the answers to the questions OR you answer them here in the comments if you don't have a blog.4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.5. When others comment asking

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1116300913392842382005-05-16T20:35:00.000-07:002005-05-16T22:36:37.580-07:00

Last week, as I'm sure you've heard, Newsweek printed a story using a source who said that U.S. interrogators at Guantanamo flushed prisoners' Korans down the toilet.All hell broke loose, riots ensued in the Middle East, sixteen people were killed, and Captain Cuckoo-banana blamed Newsweek. Yes, shame on you, Newsweek, for reporting something that's been in the news for essentially two years.

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1116127376973336392005-05-14T20:22:00.000-07:002005-05-14T20:53:18.283-07:00

Oh for Pieter's sake, I missed Tulip Time for the first time in my 37 years.Where can you find six million tulips and 2.5 million people from around the world, huddled in the rain in a small town (population 35,000), all in the span of a week? Holland, Michigan of course.Last year they had a beer tent for the first time. Now that's authentically Dutch.###

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1116048332286479642005-05-13T22:25:00.000-07:002005-05-13T22:25:32.290-07:00

Just wondering... Do you think I should make my blog title just a little bit BIGGER???? And, on a related note, I passed my vision test at the DMV, brought in my seventeen documents proving I am not an alien, including notes from my mother and from President Bush (senior, of course) who stopped by the house the other day -- he remembers me from that rally back in '89 or whenever that was that I

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1115855454686581532005-05-11T16:50:00.000-07:002005-05-11T16:50:54.773-07:00

I must take a moment to rejoice over the above article. Yes, I admit I am a graduate of Calvin College, where Predestination is the arrogant assumption of choice and nobody knows there are Democrats (and gays, even!) underground. And when my old college roomie told me the other day that Mr. Bush would be speaking at commencement, I was somewhat disgusted. (Perhaps my readers know of W's six

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1115826257390182112005-05-11T08:44:00.000-07:002005-05-12T14:07:53.943-07:00

...And we'll drink it all up.Okay, that was bad. It was a grenade, not a coconut. But this line says it all: It never posed a danger to Bush and was apparently placed by someone who wanted to scare people in the crowd and attract media attention, Donadze said.Hmmm...now WHO could possibly want to scare people? WHO would stage a threat to get sympathetic media attention? Did anybody see Karl Rove

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1115777642572683022005-05-10T19:14:00.000-07:002005-05-10T19:14:02.696-07:00

An update from the last post. Pastor resigns. You know, I feel sorry for this guy's family. Being married to a pastor is not easy, but this family has suffered more than I hope I ever do. ###

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1115571231947795362005-05-08T09:51:00.000-07:002005-05-08T22:44:26.183-07:00

Recently, the line separating church and state has been crossed. When a pastor tells his congregation that their votes for president will determine their standing as church members, it's an obvious violation. Telling them they can repent or leave implies that a vote for Kerry is a sin. A sin?!What about this church?Saint Columba's affirms the faith catholic as it has been received in matters

Wheezenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8224627.post-1115344573848134872005-05-05T18:56:00.000-07:002005-05-05T18:57:30.276-07:00

Yes, this is interesting.GREENBELT, Md. - A federal judge on Thursday blocked Montgomery County public schools from instituting a new health curriculum that includes discussions of homosexuality and demonstrations on how to use condoms. For example, the curriculum juxtaposes faiths such as Quakers and Unitarians that support full rights for gays and lesbians with groups such as Baptists, who are

Wheezenoreply@blogger.com